Valentine's Day

So the last seven days have been pretty much a fast-paced, life-changing whirlwind. Work started off as usual these days--busy and without much of a break. Three of my six coworkers chose to take their personal days last week (and a fourth tomorrow), meaning more classes and fewer breaks than normal, and that was on top of working six days straight. Needless to say, it would have been a tiring and fairly uneventful week had not I met quite possibly the most perfect person in the world for me. I say "quite possibly" because one never really knows how these things will turn out, but I've got feelings I haven't had in years and the hope that something special might come from this. As a warning to those readers who are hoping to glimpse something about Korea or my teaching experience, you will find none of those things in this blog. So, unless you are really curious about the details of the ongoing adventure that I term a love-life, you may want to quit reading now.

Her name is 지혜 and I first met her six months ago within my first two weeks of arriving in Daegu. She worked at my school as a personal tutor for struggling students. We went out to lunch together back in August, and I was instantly smitten. Our conversation was so surprising--she had studied literature in her undergraduate career (she has a master's in education) and she knew many of the authors that I did as well. She quite adeptly and impressively touched on Robert Frost, T.S. Eliot, and Kate Chopin, topics of conversation that are hard enough to find in America, much less Daegu. Turns out she studied a year or so in Louisville, Kentucky, and so she had remarkable English as well. Of the many other qualities she exhibited at that time, however, was a strong spirituality balanced with an open-mindedness to other viewpoints. As we talked over our traditional Korean food, I thought that I had to get to know this girl more. It wasn't until the end of the meal that the killer news came--she was going to America for six months, and she was leaving the following week. I was dumbstruck as to how to behave during the subsequent days, knowing that a single lunch date is not enough to really know someone nor to ask either of us to wait for the other in any way. Plus I figured in six months I'd have found another person just as awesome, since it'd only taken me two weeks to find her. Turns out I was waaaaay wrong. 

Fast forward six months to the end of January. I went to Gwangju on my long weekend and wrapped up the lengthy debacle that I called my friendship with Sharon (meaning we are still friends, I guess, but anything else is permanently off the table) and finally felt clear of that. It was one of the most therapeutic things I could have done, and combined with prayer and God's grace, became one of the best decisions I made in a while. I also ended the short relationship with someone who wasn't really who I thought they were. I say all this to say that I had a clean emotional slate for the first time in years, and I was quite happy (and still am) with my single life. Events in 지혜's life were also working out towards the same result, and one day, out of the blue, a coworker said to me, "Did you hear that 지혜 was back? She came by to visit yesterday." No one had known about our short lunch date so many months back, and I knew the information was just innocently stated. Hearing her name brought back some of those initial feelings I'd had. It wasn't that I'd forgotten about her, but I honestly didn't think she was that into me, nor would she remember me if I called her or something. Regardless, I began to make some cautious inquiries. It turns out she had the same phone number as before she left, and so I texted her to welcome her back and find out about her trip. Instead of texting back, she instantly called me back and we had a great talk. She had introduced me to Dongbu Church at that first meeting we had, and so she asked if I was still going there and how life was other than that. I was scrambling to carry on the conversation and simultaneously think of a way to ask her for a casual meeting when we suddenly got on the topic of speaking English, and she asked me if I had time to practice conversation with her. And I did. And I asked if she could also teach me some Korean. And she said yes.

We chatted a few times after that, although our appointment to meet and study on Monday was cancelled due to her receiving a job interview in another city. So, on Tuesday she suddenly arrived at our office to meet some friends. Fortuitously for me, I had a four-hour break (the first one in weeks) on that day, and so we went out to get lunch and catch up. In the ensuing four hours, I felt like I was back in that restaurant in August with an amazing woman who spoke and carried herself in a way that I found irresisibly attractive. Sitting at that table I had the sudden revelation that this girl could be "the girl." It also seemed like some feelings were mutual, and so when we finally parted later that night, I felt the first real hope in ages that I'd met someone I could spend my life with. We met the day following for coffee and got to know each other better, and I asked her out for Valentine's Day to dinner and the movie "He's Just Not That Into You." Because this was on Wednesday night, I spent Thursday, Friday, and most of Saturday (I had to work til 4p) in a state of total anxiety and expectation.

I had bought her a single rose and a chocolate mousse cake and these I gave to her when we met. It was the first time I'd done anything remotely romantic since.....uh.....yea, I don't know when. Sophomore year of college? I'd even gone out and bought a real razor the night before and shaved in preparation (she prefers the clean look to the goatee, and I don't blame her). We ended up chatting over coffee before going to an Italian restaurant. I spilled a large amount of sauce on my pink shirt (it was Valentine's Day, after all) and fumbled a bit as I finally asked her what she thought about there being an "us." She didn't seem all that surprised by the question, but rather than answer, she enigmatically told me that she'd answer after the movie. My heart sunk, because that seemed like a "I'll break your heart after we have a good time together, and then you can go home depressed" or something similar. Anyhow, we changed topics and soon were off to the movie. It turned out to be quite entertaining and appropo for Valentine's Day, and after heading out for ice cream, we talked about the various characters and relationships portrayed. It was then that I expected the answer, but none was forthcoming. Turns out she was in the mood for some wine, and so we found what has to be one of the most romantic wine spots in Daegu near the ice cream place. It's lit only by candles and has about ten or so alcoves that couples can sit in secluded from others by four foot walls. Customers sit on the floor on pillows and mats and the whole ambience recalls a Persian palace. We spent about three hours talking and eating the chocolate cake, and her answer was, thankfully, not the one I feared. All that to say this: I've met someone I'm really interested in who has a similar interest and who is everything I've been looking for. The real reason I'm telling this tale is because I don't have any other outlet for my feelings right now and it's hard to think about much else. Cheesy, I know, but honest. I guess that's what blogs are for, after all.